Surely I have posted since last August? No?

A lot has changed.

The most monumental has been losing Grace. The last year had been a slow decline. Toward the end, I was used to cleaning her and her bed for urine and feces and it was no bother. Never did I feel a stronger bond with her when, in "walking" her, I would grab the base of her tail and feel those muscles wrap to my palm as we ambled around, following the house foundation, always the same. She couldn't really walk otherwise. The appointment for the final journey was made twice and cancelled twice before going through with it. The vet referred to this as "crossing the rainbow bridge" which was both silly and comforting.

The final moment was awful, but I'm glad to have been present. Grace was looking at me, maybe trying to figure out why I was upset. All I could repeat was "You're a good girl, Grace, you've been a very good girl." On her final intake of breath, she fell heavily back onto Boyfriend's lap, which caused him to squeak. And then she was gone, the tongue and eyes lifeless.

They say it won't be your dog completely when you request a dog's ashes, but I requested them anyway, and there's a bit of a shrine on the mantel. For a long time, the dining room table was covered with photos, and at some point some smaller number of them will go into a memorial book. On a shelf nearby, a digital frame has been loaded with another set, and it runs when I sit studying.

Sixteen years! I'm glad she spent 15-and-a-half of them with me.