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Friday, March 25, 2005

Deja Vue? 

A minute ago, I was finishing up the last post and I suddenly had a Deja Vue moment. Except it wasn't Deja Vue, it was a weird visual image. It's such a strange feeling, I have to write about it.

Here I am in my cube at BIPC, simultaneously answering product questions and listening to downloaded european dance music and whipping out a blog entry. Only that--on a quiet Good Friday afternoon where most of the building is gone.

And then I saw myself: Standing in my house but not my present house. It was another apartment in another building I owned. I was dressed in Professional clothing; nice pants, a shirt and tie. It was in the evening, like a winter evening where it's only 6 o'clock but already dark outside. I was on the phone talking, loudly, and laughing. It was not in this city, it was not in Ohio.

The mind works in curious ways, no?

# posted by B. Arthurholt : 5:50 PM : Luscious

Today's Self-Affirmation: On Suzie Orman 

(I haven't felt like creatively writing so much lately.)

Midway this past week, I was sitting at my Dining Room table (curbside find) going over receipts from K-Mart (Everything-Must-Go store closing prices, including 50%-off select Martha Stewart items - I bought paint and kitchen curtains) and Kroger (day old bakery and dented cans), clipping coupons (Midas $15.99 oil change) and filling out rebates (free toothpaste, shampoo and toothbrush and half off 'flavored' condoms--hee hee--from Walgreens) and suddenly I thought

This is Pathetic. Here I am, a 42-year-old Professional man clipping coupons and sending rebates and never buying anything unless it's on sale. I live paycheck to paycheck and shouldn't life be easier than this?

Then I thought

Get Over It!

Living paycheck to paycheck has been a choice. Every penny I can spare goes to paying down credit card debt. In the last year, I've moved my debts from 20% annual percentage rates down to no more than 10%, a good part of it is fixed between 0-5% rates; I've paid off over $15,000 of this debt and I've refinanced my mortgages and my student loans.

And my life isn't all drudgery. I've been going on vacations--cheap--staying with friends or getting expenses otherwise comped. The trip to Colorado will be tax-deductible (checking up on rental); likewise, the costs to Florida (non-profit charitable deduction).


I suppose it comes down to how my life appears to someone on the outside. There are times (I've written about them here) where I'll Dandy Up and sit around trying to Look Pretty in a trendy spot. Nobody knows my clothes came from end-of-season markdowns or from Goodwill unless I tell them.

I have two friends, a newly-forming couple, where money seems to be no object. I have fun when I hang out with them but we may have different values. Their expectation (is that the right word to use here?) for my domestic happiness includes a boyfriend that is also 'Professional' and what I believe that means is that he will fit in sitting around Looking Pretty in Trendy places.

That's part of the problem. I can do that as a special treat but not as a lifestyle. I need someone who is not into Conspicuous Consumption. I've gone back and forth on the Blue Collar/White Collar thing. I like someone who is curious about 'things', but that doesn't require five college degrees. And I'm not at all interested in someone who splashes money for the sake of splashing money.

I know very few folks who are Cheap in the same way as me.

On a related note...
I began making changes to my life over a year ago. I didn't realize how monstrous my credit card debt had become. It wasn't until late in the year that I fully realized it had bloated to over $50,000. Did I just write that? Yes. It had been following me for years, squeezing after me through doors and windows and creeping up the stairs.

So if you're so thrifty Hugshyhermit, where did all that debt come from?

I'll never know for sure. It probably started out innocuously enough. I survived partially on credit for over a year in the mid-90s when I was unemployed. Later, plastic paid for the downpayments on houses and cars and with a 'Professional' career, I didn't consider this a problem. While living in Cincinnati in 2003 and charging $40-60 a week to fill up Honda, I thought I spotted an iceburg ahead.

Public television has been lately featuring a program hosted by a financial guru and I watched some of it last week. Energetic and sincere, she Tells You What You Need To Know. She says: Put away the maximum in your 401K that is matched by your company; Use any money after that to pay off your credit cards. She says: Never pay full price; she says: Volunteer your time or donate to things you believe in.

*sigh*

# posted by B. Arthurholt : 4:35 PM : Luscious