I was thinking about making a Scrapbook - one of the past eight months of my new relationship. How poofy is that?

The relationship's been going very well and as I sit here typing my mind is filling with paranoid fears - what if things are being hidden from me? How do I know the life he seems to lead isn't based on a pyramid of deceit?

Some of the fears are based on financial 'stuff'. I turned the conversation away from such things early in the relationship - it's nobody's business but my own what I make and how I pay my bills. He had been around people, as I have been, who toss the word 'Professional' around as a way to wave away the basest of money talks: A 'Professional' presumably has enough to afford a nice car, a nice house, and nice clothes. I made a big deal about the ability to Live Within One's Means.

So, when he drives a decent car and lives in a decent place and wears decent clothes I assume those are paid for and that the cash that pays for dinners and everything else is not at leaving the rent unpaid. My mind's going dark.

Back to scrapbooking... It's good to feel alive again and to share things with someone. So much of what we've done has been cheap, the fun being together more than anything else. The hikes, cheap movies, cooking together. Introducing him and hanging out with friends.

Last weekend, a bunch of us went kayaking here and afterwards we ate fresh corn before a cedar fire. We went hiking the next day here and people-watched. It is now surprise Ohio tops the list for morbid obesity.

This weekend, we're meeting friends here for this concert - $5 tickets; and going here - $2 tickets.

I've been secretly saving the program notes, the ticket stubs...