Mom
"Mom, I really can't talk for long. I'm completely swamped with stuff right now."
"What is it that they have you working on? You're working all the time. All the time."
"Oh -- just stuff. I was handed part of another project yesterday."
"Is it because they're letting all these people go? I mean, really, you have no time for yourself ...or for your dear mother."
"I don't know, really. But you can look at it that it probably means my spot is secure."
"Well. Hmm. Well. Have you heard anything more about those meetings with the sales people?"
"Yeah, I think they went well. Very well."
"I was talking with your sister and when I said you were pursuing something in Sales she said 'Oh, that's such a difficult life!'"
"Mom. Her husband is in sales. She should be talking to him."
"What? Why are you talking so low? Remember, your poor mother is hard of hearing."
"I'm at work. The walls have ears."
"Fine, fine. Well, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your driving home to be here. I don't think I could do this on my own. We'll be all set tomorrow."
"Are you sure you don't want me at the hospital?"
"No, no. You can help by taking Dog for a walk. We'll be just fine."

Sister
"Hey! How's it going?"
"It's fine, I just wanted to call to see how Dad is doing."
"He's fine, in fact I can't believe how well he's doing! He was able to walk on his own and everything. And only taking Extra-Strength Tylenol. I wonder if the anesthesia has fully worn off yet, ha ha!"
"Cool! So, hey, Mom told me you've been setting up these meetings for a different job."
"Yeah... maybe in sales."
"I think that's great! I think you'd be awesome in sales."
"Yeah, I hope something might work out. Hey, how are things there?"
"Oh, it's wonderful! I love it here! You know they're having a UFO festival here this week."
"Yeah, I saw it's famous for a 'sighting' in 1950."
"Yeah! Tomorrow they're having a UFO parade, and they have guest speakers and it turns out a good friend of mine from L.A. is going to be speaking so I'll get to see him!"
"Wow, cool."
"Yeah, he's a survivor of an implantation and he's helped thousands of other survivors."
"Yeah? Wow."
"There are two races of aliens, he says. It's really fascinating. And he's going to be here tomorrow."
"Hm. yeah. hmm...."
"There are the 'greens' and then there are the 'greys'."
"Hmm, uh huh. Hey, I hate to cut you short but I'm in the middle of the TV special on -- of all things! -- Elvis."
"Oh OK. I love you. I can't wait to see you!"
"Me too."

Dad
"What a sap, I never knew Elvis was that much of a sap for his mother."
"So they say. I think the actress playing his mom did a great job, too bad she's dead now so you can't see more of her acting."
"I thought Elvis was good in his early days, but later -- maybe it was the drugs -- he couldn't hit all the notes."
"I bet it was the drugs."
"Did they dub Elvis into these songs? It sounds just like him."
"I think this guy is singing them -- he's hitting all the notes."
"He's doing a fantastic job if he is then, it sounds just like him."
"Yeah."
"Now who's this?"
"I think that's P'rsch'lla."
"She looks awfully young, are you sure?"
"No, It's Priscilla, see she's introducing herself. She was only like 14 when they met. Yeah, that's what she's saying right now, she's only 14 and has to be back for curfew."
"Oh! I didn't know that about him. Didn't they have children?"
"Yeah. L'shaM'ree -- also known as the First Mrs. Michael Jackson."
"Oh! What was she thinking? Now who's this?"
"I think that's Ann Margret - we'll find out after the commercial break."
"He had an affair with her? Oh my!"
"Well I gotta say Dad you seem to be doing just fine."
"Oh I am Son. Thank you so much for being home. I think it really helped keep things calm around here."

A few months ago I had a tiff with my tenant -- the one who's also my next door neighbor. With one of her two cats having kittens and then on top of that seeing a puppy appear, it seemed the house would become overrun with animals. I called to tell her that while I had given her break with the cats, I usually charged $200 for each pet. Nonrefundable.

The puppy was gone that night.

But a week later she called me with a list of complaints. I figured it was a payback -- and maybe I should have handled the 'visiting puppy' concern differently -- but when I got home from work, I knocked on her door.

Everything was pleasant: any potential hostilities seemed to have blown over. After investigating everything, I returned to speak with her in the Living Room. Just as I had always observed from the outside, she sat watching TV in the semi-dark, smoking.

The business of landlord-tenant was eliminated in short order and I wish I could remember how the conversation turned. My tenant began telling me a story.

When she was 28, my tenant was married with 3 young sons. She began experiencing panic attacks. At first it was only a little but then more intensely. She would cry frequently and she began avoiding going outside of the house. Her husband didn't notice there was anything wrong as long as he got his dinner.

For awhile she maintained an appearance of control, but things got worse. When she didn't get out of bed after 3 days, it was her sister and mother who came over and took her to a hospital. She was under observation for almost a week.

"Mrs. H," the doctor told her, "You have a borderline bipolar disorder," and they prescribed her anti-depressants. The first medicine didn't work, so they prescribed something else. Those didn't seem to work either, and every succeeding, more powerful, drug had side effects that brought other medications to counter them. Nothing seemed to be working and the tests could not find anything conclusive. She felt sick all the time, she wasn't sleeping and she was losing weight.

One day she collapsed and she was rushed to the hospital. New doctors performed a barrage of tests on her. It was not a doctor but a nurse who came in and took hold of her hand, "Mrs. H," she said, "Did you know that you were pregnant?"

"No," my tenant said, and: "'were' pregnant?"

"I'm afraid the fetus is dead," said the nurse, "I'm sorry."

It had been a girl and my tenant had always wanted a girl. "But just as well," she said, "with all those drugs I was on it probably would have been born brain-damaged or with a severe handicap."

I didn't know what to say.

"That's why I devote so much to my granddaughter," she said. "She is the center of my universe."