Anyone remember that ad campaign?

A group of my friends met for Ethiopian eats in Cincinnati last night. We get together fairly regularly to laugh and rag on each other, usually along with mass amounts of alcohol. It's a good time.

Of course the SBC Global letter (see previous post) provided a lot of laughs. My friends imitated me -- putting their hands on their hips, and saying in their queeniest voices:

"I am appalled at the shoddy customer service..."
"I will take my telephone business needs elsewhere!" etc. etc.

ha ha ha! Not at all like me, of course!

But my friend B had one better.

B lives in a section of the city where crack houses mix with rehab projects. One morning, she was out front as the junior high kids were on their way to the school a block from her home. A girl was finishing a bag of Cheet-Ohs and tossed it onto the sidewalk in front of B's house.

"Hey, I live here! Pick that up!" said B.
"Fuck you, c*nt, pickit up yourself!" said the girl, and she ran on down the block.

Incensed, B snatched up the bag and strode down to the school. Meeting with the principal, she shook the empty bag before his desk: "I won't make comments about parents who allow children to eat Cheet-ohs for breakfast; but I live in this neighborhood, and as a taxpayer I'm trying to make a difference!" (By this point of the story, we're already practically falling off our chairs with laughter.) "This behavior is intolerable!" Accompanied by the Assistant Principal, B then went through every single classroom until the girl -- a 6th grader -- was found. The little girl was given detention.

Ha ha ha! Take a bite out of crime!

(That poor girl! I just hope B doesn't get her house fire-bombed.)

When the crew gets together, we get loud and raunchy. We sometimes catch people listening in on the conversation -- which isn't too difficult to do. Maybe we've curled a few hairs.

We're all about the same age, most of us are fixing up old buildings, wear thrift clothes, listen to weird bands, and are, uh ... a bit loose when it comes to sexual expression. Most of us are single. Any correlations, here? I don't know.

We stayed well after the other customers. The Ethiopian proprietor, so mild-mannered, apologetically approached to tell us they wanted to sleep.

May 5, 2004

SBC Communications Headquarters
175 East Houston Street
San Antonio, Texas 78205

ATTN: William Daley

Re: Account Number XXX XXX XXXX XXX XX X


To Whom It May Concern,

Today I canceled my SBC Global and local phone line access. At issue? A “reconnect fee” of $32.30.

On my most recent bill, I was charged a “reconnect fee” for my phone that was never disconnected. After being bounced from customer service department to customer service department, and being told that my line had been disconnected for non-payment (also not true – I paid my bill in full – copies of all bills attached), I write this letter to express my extreme displeasure at this shoddy way of handling customers.

For disconnecting, I am told I will be billed at least $200 for breaking a legal contract. This letter is to notify you (with copies to my Ohio Senator and Representatives and, as necessary, to other authorities including the three Credit Reporting Bureaus) that it is not I who am breaking a legal contract – it is you: You have tried to extract fees from me for “services” you never provided. I refuse to pay this.

I am appalled at the way I have been treated, particularly over such a nominal amount. I am left wondering whether this “fee” is routinely assessed to consumers too busy to notice or too tired to challenge. Not so in this case: I will now take my telephone business needs elsewhere.

This letter puts you on notice that any collection activity or negative reporting of this to the credit reporting agencies will be prosecuted against you to the full extent of the Fair Credit Reporting Act and any and all applicable state and local code sections.

Corporate bullying in the nature of nickel-and-dime fees assessed to unwary consumers must stop in this country.


Hugshyhermit

cc: Senator Jeff Jacobson
Representative Jon Husted

---

Boy, what a grumpy old fart!

Really, -- really! -- I was polite and professional with all the customer service representatives: I didn't raise my voice; and I told them exactly how I felt and exactly what I would do if it wasn't resolved. It wasn't resolved, and so I did as I said I would.

If it had been my Dad, he would have been screaming at them into the phone, veins-popping red-faced!

Anyways, I've cooked my goose. Calling around, no one offers service like SBC did in Dayton, or at least not at the low price (net "fees") I was paying. *sigh* Now I know how he feels.

I should have just paid the fee and shut the f*ck up about it, I guess.

And now I'm laughing because no wonder I'm single. Oh well.

Time for my prunes.

I sometimes fall asleep with the television on, and this morning I woke up to see election bandwagon coverage: Bush in a bus, traveling through Michigan and Ohio. Lining the streets were nothing but cheering supporters. Through the dark windshield, you could see George W. give the "thumbs up" sign. Ugh!

Bush is on his way through here. I tried to gather my hippie work friends for a protest with a few picket signs: "Stop the War of Errorism." And: "See what your $600 tax credit gets you in the unemployment line."

Instead, everyone at BIPC yesterday was in an uproar over the latest computer viruses. In fact, an emergency security patch shut my p.c. down -- right in the middle of my Super Secret Project update!

While I plan on casting my vote this fall, I'm feeling very down about it. I don't think it's going to make a damn bit of difference.

My dream last night (early this morning)
Hugshyhermit decides to learn the Steel Guitar -- he's fascinated with the sound and he has some friends who will teach him how to hold it for the chords. Hugshyhermit meets with his friend MB the singer/songwriter, and Hugshyhermit is a natural: Soon he's weaving out chord progressions with little riffs, melodies with cool harmonies in thirds and fifths.

Hugshyhermit writes a few songs -- heartfelt little numbers sung down low in his limited range. They have titles like "A Little About Life," and "You Rejected Me Before I Rejected You." They're all Accoustic, Country & Western -- but maybe with a little jazz modulation -- and when Hugshyhermit sings them in his bass voice, he has a country twang.

Hugshyhermit decides to go to Open Mic night at a local bar. "If you've been saving up your rotten tomatoes, here's your chance to use them," Hugshyhermit tells the audience, picking a chord on the guitar. The light on stage shoots right into his eyes.

And when you sit there thinkin'
of times past and gone
You may recall me drinkin'
Gone to what's gone along
It's easier to mix a drink than pine for love that's wrong

Ha ha ha! Don't quit your day job! Hmmm...Could this have something to do that when my radio alarm went off this morning, they were interviewing Dolly Parton?