Sunday, January 08, 2006
Obsessive Compulsive
The doctor, in his white jacket, sits in a chair with my file open before him. I sit on the edge of the vinyl bed, uncomfortably shifting on the tissue that protects the top.
"Hello, it's Hugshyhermit. Who do we have on the line?" THe conference room is cold; a small windowless room lit by a fluorescent light; chairs with stained and torn upholstry surrounding a wobbly round formica table. The N Project: Documentation Kickoff Meeting. "Hopefully you on the line have printed out the materials I sent you earlier? Is there anyone I missed?" I hand packets to the two people at the table, hand another to the third as she comes through the door and closes it behind her.
I sit down at the table and remove the binder clip on my set of materials. "Well first I want to apologize: I set up this meeting a few weeks ago and ordinarily I would have liked to reviewed the materials once more before showing up today, but unfortunately I have not had a chance to do that --"
I glance at the first page of the first attachment, "Heh! I was at the doctor's office this morning and he asked if I was obsessive compulsive, and I said 'Is that a bad thing?'"
Conference Room: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Speakerphone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
One of my coworkers leans forward, smiling, "Hugshyhermit, you just drink too much coffee."
"Hey, Hugshyhermit, have you been working on the O project?"
I shake my head, "Ugh, you should ask. I called into a meeting about it today and I realized while everyone was talking that I had done everything wrong."
My coworker shakes his head.
"I felt like crap. As soon as the meeting was over, I tried to find the instructions and I couldn't and --"
The red color of my coworker's shirt contrasts perfectly with his blue/green eyes...
"You know, I went to the doctor's this morning and he asked if I was obsessive compulsive and I thought 'is that such a bad thing?'"
The coworker looks confused.
"I probably just drink too much coffee."
"Ah," says my coworker, "and it's time for another cup."
"You're so outgoing," I say, "You're much more outgoing than me."
"No, no. Ordinarily I would be like this," and he faces the corner and mimics furtively looking around, "It's because of you. You're not superficial. You're real, you're not fake. You're genuine."
"Oh thank you. You know... I thought maybe I was obsessive compulsive or something. I was at the doctor's and he asked if I was."
"As if that's a bad thing?" says he, "Well here I am keeping you hostage. I hope I see you again. Call."
"Ok," I say, "I will."
"Something like Paxil is going to work over time to level moodswings. And like I said it's used for any number of things, but it's mostly an antidepressant."
"Hm. Paxil. Hm."
"Your dad is ill too?"
"Yes - and to be honest I'm not too much into taking something over time. Isn't there something -- something like Xanax -- that I can take 'as needed'? I don't think I'm really depressed; I'm feeling anxious, you know, tightness of chest, that kind of thing. And I'm not sleeping too well."
"Yes there's a class of drugs I could prescribe like Xanax, but there are side effects. Are you prone to suicide? Depression? Are you obsessive compulsive?"
"No -- I don't know, I mean is being obsessive compulsive all that bad?"
"Do you drink more than 4 cups of coffee a day?"
"Do I drink more than 4 cups of coffee a day? Absolutely! I mean, I have to, if I haven't been sleeping and I'm expected to give presentations."
"I should give a prescription for drinking too much coffee," he says as he hands me a prescription. Ativan. To take as needed. 1mg tablets, to be broken in half.
"Hello, it's Hugshyhermit. Who do we have on the line?" THe conference room is cold; a small windowless room lit by a fluorescent light; chairs with stained and torn upholstry surrounding a wobbly round formica table. The N Project: Documentation Kickoff Meeting. "Hopefully you on the line have printed out the materials I sent you earlier? Is there anyone I missed?" I hand packets to the two people at the table, hand another to the third as she comes through the door and closes it behind her.
I sit down at the table and remove the binder clip on my set of materials. "Well first I want to apologize: I set up this meeting a few weeks ago and ordinarily I would have liked to reviewed the materials once more before showing up today, but unfortunately I have not had a chance to do that --"
I glance at the first page of the first attachment, "Heh! I was at the doctor's office this morning and he asked if I was obsessive compulsive, and I said 'Is that a bad thing?'"
Conference Room: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Speakerphone: Ha! Ha! Ha!
One of my coworkers leans forward, smiling, "Hugshyhermit, you just drink too much coffee."
"Hey, Hugshyhermit, have you been working on the O project?"
I shake my head, "Ugh, you should ask. I called into a meeting about it today and I realized while everyone was talking that I had done everything wrong."
My coworker shakes his head.
"I felt like crap. As soon as the meeting was over, I tried to find the instructions and I couldn't and --"
The red color of my coworker's shirt contrasts perfectly with his blue/green eyes...
"You know, I went to the doctor's this morning and he asked if I was obsessive compulsive and I thought 'is that such a bad thing?'"
The coworker looks confused.
"I probably just drink too much coffee."
"Ah," says my coworker, "and it's time for another cup."
"You're so outgoing," I say, "You're much more outgoing than me."
"No, no. Ordinarily I would be like this," and he faces the corner and mimics furtively looking around, "It's because of you. You're not superficial. You're real, you're not fake. You're genuine."
"Oh thank you. You know... I thought maybe I was obsessive compulsive or something. I was at the doctor's and he asked if I was."
"As if that's a bad thing?" says he, "Well here I am keeping you hostage. I hope I see you again. Call."
"Ok," I say, "I will."