I've just passed my first anniversary with a management job. There's been some highs and lows.

I've learned a lot. I jumped at the chance to interview for the position because I knew I would learn. A new product offering, a new workflow with new tools, and new people. It's been all of those things and it's been great.

I'm fine with many aspects of being a people manager. I enjoy talking with my staff and have had to deliver bad news many times now or, to use the parlance of HR, to "coach" people to "meet or exceed customer expectations".

But there's been lows, and overall, my anxiety level has increased since the new year. It goes without saying the job in reality doesn't match the job as pitched. We've had some nasty messages to deliver: The reduction or elimination of perks or things allowed by production credits. There's been some meetings with nasty ideas to consider: Salaried staff all being converted to hourly. Good experience to live through, I think to myself. Something to learn from the next time around.

I'm not like the other managers. They have more experience in this section of BIPC's organization and I'm the new guy. I'm not sure what the next best step I should take. Part of me tells me to do the best job I can by learning everything I can. Part of me looks on in dismay as the role and the larger organization moves in a direction that doesn't make sense to me at all. With reorganizations that you can set your clock by every 18 months, will the efforts to show learning things outside my comfort zone or will those same actions only serve to highlight my inexperience and flaws?