Sunday, November 06, 2005
Something
"I need your help with something."
"What is it?"
"Here. Read this out loud and do as it says."
"Okay. Wait... what is this? Is this some Kabbalah crap?"
"Oh! Don't say that! Just help me out."
"Whatever. What am I supposed to do?"
"You're going to help me put on the red string. Now. Here it is and you have to do exactly what it says."
"Alright alright. I hope you didn't spend a lot of money on this. How much did this cost?"
"$10. Now you have to read the book and do exactly what it says."
"$10 for a piece of red string? Okay okay. Are you ready? Ahem.'The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye.' Oh give me a break!"
"C'mon, keep reading."
"'The Evil eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us.' (Puh-leeze!) 'Envious eyes and looks of ill will affect us, stopping us from realizing our full potential in every area of our life.' I canNOT believe I'm sitting here reading this."
"You're being negative. Keep going."
"'Have someone you love tie the Red String to your left wrist. First, have them tie the string closely around your wrist with a simple knot.' I'm supposed to tie a knot?"
"Yeah."
"How's this - not too tight?"
"Fine."
"'Repeat by knotting the string six more times for a total of seven knots.' (Okay...) 'Now make a promise to yourself that you will refrain from negative thoughts or talk about others. This harmful behavior will interfere with your effort to gain personal fulfillment and protection. Then have the person finish by saying the Ben Porat Prayer (read from right to left) which prevents others from giving us the evil eye.' I'm supposed to read this?"
"Yes, read it from right to left."
"'ben porat yosef ben porat alei ayin hamalach hagoeil oti mikol ra yivarech et hanarim yvikare bahem shmi vshem avatoi Avraham vYitzchak vyidgu larov bkerev haretz.' (*sigh*)"
"Hugshyhermit, thank you so much! Now I'm supposed to be surrounded by good thoughts until the string falls away."
"It's difficult for me to take this seriously, but it's not hurting anyone either I guess..."
"What is it?"
"Here. Read this out loud and do as it says."
"Okay. Wait... what is this? Is this some Kabbalah crap?"
"Oh! Don't say that! Just help me out."
"Whatever. What am I supposed to do?"
"You're going to help me put on the red string. Now. Here it is and you have to do exactly what it says."
"Alright alright. I hope you didn't spend a lot of money on this. How much did this cost?"
"$10. Now you have to read the book and do exactly what it says."
"$10 for a piece of red string? Okay okay. Are you ready? Ahem.'The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye.' Oh give me a break!"
"C'mon, keep reading."
"'The Evil eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us.' (Puh-leeze!) 'Envious eyes and looks of ill will affect us, stopping us from realizing our full potential in every area of our life.' I canNOT believe I'm sitting here reading this."
"You're being negative. Keep going."
"'Have someone you love tie the Red String to your left wrist. First, have them tie the string closely around your wrist with a simple knot.' I'm supposed to tie a knot?"
"Yeah."
"How's this - not too tight?"
"Fine."
"'Repeat by knotting the string six more times for a total of seven knots.' (Okay...) 'Now make a promise to yourself that you will refrain from negative thoughts or talk about others. This harmful behavior will interfere with your effort to gain personal fulfillment and protection. Then have the person finish by saying the Ben Porat Prayer (read from right to left) which prevents others from giving us the evil eye.' I'm supposed to read this?"
"Yes, read it from right to left."
"'ben porat yosef ben porat alei ayin hamalach hagoeil oti mikol ra yivarech et hanarim yvikare bahem shmi vshem avatoi Avraham vYitzchak vyidgu larov bkerev haretz.' (*sigh*)"
"Hugshyhermit, thank you so much! Now I'm supposed to be surrounded by good thoughts until the string falls away."
"It's difficult for me to take this seriously, but it's not hurting anyone either I guess..."