It was my New Years' Resolution to find a new job. And I've started, although even the amount of time I've spent on it is not time enough.

It can be a real kick in the balls.

I've never applied for jobs in the electronic age. But... I put together a resume on Monster and set up some canned searches using keywords. Those are starting to come back with results.

Then there's the internal job board. I'm clueless even how to apply for jobs within my own company!

Once, last year, I applied for an internal job. It was an automated process with an e-mail that told me I had applied. It also told my boss that I had applied. That was not a good day.

And it was useless because I never heard anything back.

So, last week, when I saw a job that looked interesting, I e-mailed the guy my resume direct. I also left a voicemail. We've been playing phone-tag, but he told me in his last message that there's already a 'top-flight' candidate identified.

I just left him another voicemail. It was lame.

Uuuuhhh, thanks for leaving me a voicemail yesterday. Uhhhmmm, I really appreciated that. Uhhhhm, I'm still interested in talking with you about other uhmmm opportunities. What I'm really looking for uhm at this stage of my career is some direction in knowing where I should be. I'd like to know whether I'm uhhhh over-qualified or uhm, I don't know, un-qualified for the type of jobs you have posted within your organization. uh, maybe, what would be good, is me setting up a meeting, fifteen minutes, on your schedule, and I could ask you a few questions about that. uhmmm, that would be great. Thanks!

What a Valley Girl! I didn't ask him to do anything, like get to back to me. Should I send a 'follow-up' e-mail *clarifying* what I meant? Total Bummer!

I'm particularly angry with myself because I don't usually fall apart like that. It's not like I haven't done public speaking or made phone calls to strangers before! (Keep your brain out of the gutter!)

It's like I was sabotaging myself. Hmmm...



And on a related note...
I'm going to try incorporating a photo into each entry from now on. I've been wanting to do photography again for some time, and the tiny digital camera that came with my new cel phone is a start. It's not high class, I know, but it's a start.

So far, a lot of my photos have a ghostly feel to them, whether it's planned on my part or not. This self-portrait, blurred, probably resulted from low light.

I kinda like it...