Early in the year, when I had a roommate, I had a panic over what he'd think if he saw the lack of my worldly possessions. So, I rushed out and bought a sleeky 13" color RCA TeeVee. It cost $89 On Sale and it's a little thing compared to what all my friends have. Size really doesn't matter...

Last night, I took in a bit of the Republican National Convention. Oh those crazy gals Jenna and Barb. When my brand new Dick Tracy picta-phone burst into a Symphony, I hit the remote's plastic 'mute' button.

Hah! I had never really used it before. There was Schwarzenegger, pleased as punch at the podium. On the screen engulfing him, a scorching red had the rare reprieve of pixellating white -- part of a giant virtual flag.

Schwarzenegger stood still, squinting and glinting. Then, like a scene-take had been signaled, he began moving. He leaned back from the podium, brushed a broad expanse with his hand and began a silent speech.

To my surprise a second later, text began scrolling across and down the screen like some kind of weird poetry. Always a little behind and frazzing out if the person spoke to fast: My fellow immigrants, my fellow americans...

AMERICA IS THE ONLY PLACE
WHERE[][][][]IA[][][]
[][][]EMOCRAC[][][][]
[][][]IT IS.
WHEN I ARRIVED IN AMERICA
WITHOUT A PENNY IN MY POCKET
[][][]UTR[][][][][]
NO ENGLISH
[] RANSLATED IN GERMAN[][][]
[][] DEMOCRATIC WERE SPEAKING LIKE SOCIALIST
[][][][][]SOCIALIST[][]

Schwarzenegger paused, but the text continued.

[][][][][] I HEARD NIXON ---
I HEARD NIXON
[][][][][]AI[][][]SINESS[][][]FREE ENTER PRIZE
[][][][][][][][][]
WHO IS THIS NIXON?
AND MY FRIEND HE SAYS
HE IS A REPUBLICAN
AND I SAY THEN
I AM A REPUBLICAN TO!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

It was fascinating to watch.

>>>USA!
>>>USA!
>>>USA!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

My call ended and I pushed the plastic button again. With sound, it wasn't nearly as interesting...