Sometimes I daydream about what I would do if I could do anything. I'd be a writer, I think. I'd work in the movies or in television. Hugshyhermit would churn scripts out for campy shows like Charmed or daytime soaps while separately publishing, under an assumed name, unknown but praised (of course!) screenplays or fiction.

But I have no experience or background and I'm not friends with Brad, Ben or Matt. What to do?

I know! Create a fake resume, with a list of impressive-sounding experience and awards. I found Antioch's B.F.A. program disappointing in its ignorance of *Native American* writers, but my thesis of short stories revolving around the Trail of Tears was optioned by White Wolf Productions.

And: Why, yes... I *did* win the Greater Miami Valley Young Writers' Award.

That's another thing -- my age. I would shave a few years -- hell, a decade! -- off my birthday. I started writing late, I'd say. I spent most of my twenties bumming around the world and living on the streets.

Why not?

*Sigh*

Oh well. Back to drafting what is being called a Data Assessment Approach -- I bet soon to be shortened to a catchy acronym. DatASAP? Dat Ass. Talk about creative writing!