Saturday, April 03, 2004
Holiday
sex scandal secrecy subversity storytelling scarcity sublimity
What the hell are you rambling about, Hugshyhermit?
Why, these are the "seven S's of successful marketing", as told to me by my friend, Colorado C.
You may recall C and I had a plan to see Madonna when she opens her American tour in Las Vegas this summer. As we researched all aspects Madonna/Vegas, we learned it would coincide with the Vegas Circuitparty, which only sweetened the pot for my friend C.
Here's how it all started: Colorado C called me up.
And so, $38 later, I am an ICON -- the name of the Material Girl's Fan Club members.
True to C's word, I begin receiving a steady barrage of e-mails: VIP Tickets available for ICON members ONLY!
On the appointed day and a few minutes before the appointed hour when the ICON tickets will be released, C and I call each other up and simultaneously log on to the ticket sales menu. We both agree that a Madonna concert is only worth it to see up close, so we will purchase the most expensive tickets, for Vegas, Opening Night: $300 each.
That same day, I leave for my lunch date with St. Bernard and have a good laugh with him over it -- St. Bernard doesn't like Madonna... or Brittney or Christina or Mandy or Jessica. Upon my return, there are two breathless voicemails from C. He's purchased a Ticketmaster ticket for the concert in Boston. I call him back:
And so, bloggies, it appears I purchased the last ticket to the Madonna concert in Boston (Worcester Centre, actually) in June. Jealous?
Even if you aren't, we have discovered a group that are: Our $38 ICON memberships give us access into an exclusive, Madonna-only chat room. C has discovered this is almost 100% populated with gay guys over 30 (with a few -- as in two -- straight women under 20). C logs on a regular basis to trumpet that we have seats, 20 or so rows from the stage.
My two forrays into the ICON chat room haven't been so much fun. While I do enjoy some -- if not many -- of Our Lady of Bay City's songs, I've never seen her live, nor do I follow the clothing designers she's currently wearing. I don't own a copy of Sex or Mr. Peabody's Apples; I have not memorized the lines from her many under-rated movies, nor do I know the name of her hairdresser let alone who she's currently hanging with. Much of the public discussions are constructed entirely using Madonna song lyrics.
The two teens -- both named Sharon -- are the only two who talk to me. The Sharons have taken pity and help me when I flounder on Madonna trivia. (Question: Which song took Madonna only twenty minutes to write? Answer: Into The Groove.)
If you're experienced with all things Madonna -- like my friend C -- then the world is your oyster. C privately chats with people from all over the world and they exchange naughty pictures. You can even call each other up, international long distance, and talk dirty with each other. C is thoroughly enjoying himself.
C is organizing an ICON party pre-Worcester show. It might be fun -- certainly, funny -- and you'll read all about it here.
sex scandal secrecy subversity storytelling scarcity sublimity
...Indeed.
What the hell are you rambling about, Hugshyhermit?
Why, these are the "seven S's of successful marketing", as told to me by my friend, Colorado C.
You may recall C and I had a plan to see Madonna when she opens her American tour in Las Vegas this summer. As we researched all aspects Madonna/Vegas, we learned it would coincide with the Vegas Circuitparty, which only sweetened the pot for my friend C.
Here's how it all started: Colorado C called me up.
- "You have to sign up for Madonna's fan club! They're making tickets to the tour available at special rates ahead of the general public!"
"Oh c'mon, C! Me, a grown man, joining a Fan Club? Madonna's Fan Club?!"
"You have to! It will be so much fun! Otherwise we'll never get tickets!"
And so, $38 later, I am an ICON -- the name of the Material Girl's Fan Club members.
True to C's word, I begin receiving a steady barrage of e-mails: VIP Tickets available for ICON members ONLY!
On the appointed day and a few minutes before the appointed hour when the ICON tickets will be released, C and I call each other up and simultaneously log on to the ticket sales menu. We both agree that a Madonna concert is only worth it to see up close, so we will purchase the most expensive tickets, for Vegas, Opening Night: $300 each.
- "It's saying it's not open yet! What time do you have?"
"It's letting me in! I'm choosing two $300 tickets!.... OK... It's saying nothing's available!"
"Try again, too many people are hitting the servers!"
"No, it's saying it's sold out!"
"Try the $150 tickets!"
"Those are gone, too! Do the $90 ones...!"
"None! What should we do?"
"Let's go for Chicago!"
That same day, I leave for my lunch date with St. Bernard and have a good laugh with him over it -- St. Bernard doesn't like Madonna... or Brittney or Christina or Mandy or Jessica. Upon my return, there are two breathless voicemails from C. He's purchased a Ticketmaster ticket for the concert in Boston. I call him back:
- "Log on to ticketmaster.com! There are still other available tickets!"
"It's telling me it's sold out."
"It can't be, I have one right here -- Row 22!"
"I'm telling you, it's saying it's sold out!"
"I'll release this ticket, see what it does -- there, I'm releasing it!"
"Oh my god, it's letting me in! I have two minutes to complete the sale!"
And so, bloggies, it appears I purchased the last ticket to the Madonna concert in Boston (Worcester Centre, actually) in June. Jealous?
Even if you aren't, we have discovered a group that are: Our $38 ICON memberships give us access into an exclusive, Madonna-only chat room. C has discovered this is almost 100% populated with gay guys over 30 (with a few -- as in two -- straight women under 20). C logs on a regular basis to trumpet that we have seats, 20 or so rows from the stage.
My two forrays into the ICON chat room haven't been so much fun. While I do enjoy some -- if not many -- of Our Lady of Bay City's songs, I've never seen her live, nor do I follow the clothing designers she's currently wearing. I don't own a copy of Sex or Mr. Peabody's Apples; I have not memorized the lines from her many under-rated movies, nor do I know the name of her hairdresser let alone who she's currently hanging with. Much of the public discussions are constructed entirely using Madonna song lyrics.
The two teens -- both named Sharon -- are the only two who talk to me. The Sharons have taken pity and help me when I flounder on Madonna trivia. (Question: Which song took Madonna only twenty minutes to write? Answer: Into The Groove.)
If you're experienced with all things Madonna -- like my friend C -- then the world is your oyster. C privately chats with people from all over the world and they exchange naughty pictures. You can even call each other up, international long distance, and talk dirty with each other. C is thoroughly enjoying himself.
C is organizing an ICON party pre-Worcester show. It might be fun -- certainly, funny -- and you'll read all about it here.
sex scandal secrecy subversity storytelling scarcity sublimity
...Indeed.