Yes, I've been writing up a lot of blogentries lately, haven't I? That's because most everyone at BIPC is taking their vacation. There's not much to do, I am excrutiatingly bored and must pass the time at work looking busy. This entry will update you to all (well, maybe some) of the drama at BIPC.

First the sad news: My favorite work friend, MB, quit. He's been gone a week. It's for a good reason: He has plans, and he plans on going places. Now BIPC will be an even less fun place to work.

After BIPC let a bunch of people go about a month ago, I told my boss that I had "some ideas" about where our department could go -- excuse me; "grow" -- when I didn't really have much. He kept asking, so yesterday I whipped something up in about five minutes. To my shock, today he told me he is going to be discussing my ideas with the kahunas!

Perhaps I've been too hard on myself about work. Perhaps I should shut up and accept my lot in life. My suggestions, if taken, could keep me working at BIPC but take me away to another location -- BIPC is like that; like cancer we're everywhere. Is that what I want? Would it be jumping from the frying pan into the fire? I think MB said it best: Golden Handcuffs.

A similar BIPC dilemma is this: I've heard some rumors of "opportunities" back in my old stomping grounds. I have missed my life in Colorado. I loved the sunny outdoors there, my group of supportive friends. But, faced with the possibility that I could move back, I wonder if that would be like, uh ... moving back.

Changing the environment would not resolve any larger problems. If it's going to be more of the same ole same ole, then I gotta find a way to not get worked up over valueless jobs. I must get over being single and growing old. Colorado Springs is an economic backwater, and it ain't exactly raining men. If I move somewhere, then shouldn't it be to a place that offers some serious economic and LTR action?

I HATE it when people complain about something, and state that they "know" what would make life better -- and then when it might come to fruition, do an aboutface. I do NOT want to be like that.

HugShyHermit A Oh, but my rental there, I like it so much. It has airy rooms with lots of windows, eleven foot-high ceilings, a small fenced front yard with a view of Pikes Peak. I get a pit in my stomach imagining a breeze moving through the open windows -- I can hear it in the leaves, smell the flowers, see it blowing the curtains at the windows. I see Grace sitting at the door, watching the squirrels. I like my neighbors. It's within walking distance of Red Rocks and the Thai restaurant.

HugShyHermit B Stop being attached to "things"! Don't move so fast. I need to really see what's out there. I've got a resume ready -- blanket the world with it! I should try to parlay my present career so-called into something more creative, more edgy.

HugShyHermit A But... Maybe what I need is a braindead job, then I can devote more time to writing. I like writing. And maybe, just maybe, writing likes me. I could continue looking busy at my p.c. and type away hoodles. Just like now.

HugShyHermit B And what about what I told C & D? That my next move would be to a place where I would settle down permanently? Am I prepared to do that with Colorado? Sure, I lived there for 8 years -- can I live there for twenty? What about Boston? Or Cincinnati? What about a place where it's urban, hip, and I know I like it because I've had experience living there?

HugShyHermit A Like Denver.

*sigh* So I don't know what to do.