Why do I hate the thought of moving back here so much? I've got a few examples, fresh off the press from today's lunch-hour! Warning: Contents may be acerbic.

(1) In the card aisle at Kroger's. I wanted to find a Sympathy card for my ex-boss, whose father died last Friday. Almost every card or category had a heavy dose of Jesus. Bible Quotes; symbols like praying hands or crosses; frequent references to "He","Him", and "His". Yeah, I'm aware that death is a religious event for most people, even for myself; I've shopped for sympathy cards before. But I don't recall encountering evangelicalism to this extent (and in a grocery store for Christ's sake!). There were no categories labeled "Sympathy - Blank Inside", and the selection of ecumenical (or non-Christian) cards was pathetic.

(2) In the same aisle. While looking at cards, I became aware of someone hovering. It was a man pushing a grocery-cart, wearing a corporate-logo golf shirt and a pager. I was going to say "middle aged," and realized that he was probably around my age. He was staring at me when I noticed him, and he nodded when I did a double-take to make sure. I think he was cruising me! He looked "str8-acting", suburban -- maybe he was married with kids. Looking for a quickie on his lunch-hour. Yeah, it's not like I'm up for a Purity Award; my negative reaction is because that could become me!

(3) At the pharmacy counter. Picking up my antibiotics, the clerk asked me to sign a new item, something acknowledging that I had received and read a "privacy act" brochure. I had received one of these same brochures at the doctors' office, so I made a comment wondering whether this was related to efforts to stem the sale of personal names/numbers to, say, companies who bug you to buy stuff, or to address the fear of identity fraud. "No, this is written by lawyers. It's about a group of lawyers looking for more ways to bring civil lawsuits. It's headed by Hillary Clinton."

I kid you not! Should I laugh or cry? It's enough to worry about alcoholism.