Monday, August 11, 2003
Dilbert-slash-Couch Potato
Dear Blog:
I own a few rental properties, with four primary tenants and a few hangers-on (children, pets, girl/boyfriends). I don't know much about them. It's interesting what they talk about/tell me on the occasions when I do interract with them.
Mid-last week, I had to investigate a water leak at one property. The tenants are two guys in their early 20s. The reason they got the apartment is because I thought they were gay: I don't know too many straight guys who have a joint checking account, do you? But they're not -- Ben has a girlfriend, and what a cutie patootie she is, too. The neighborhood was in an uproar because she's black -- the neighbors actually cornered me! -- but I think they've come round. Last time I saw her, I mentioned I had been to the opera, and she perked right up: "I've been trained in professional singing!" and then she began singing right there on the spot. I don't know what she was singing, but something warbly & I hope I showed I was impressed. You go girl!
But I digress. When I was there investigating the water leak, the mail was delivered, and Marc got a letter from his sister. He bounded upstairs where I was digging out old caulk in the bathroom just to tell me that. "She's loving boot camp and she's gaining weight." Well of course, I had to ask why that was a good thing? She had had an eating disorder. What kind of an eating disorder? Anorexia: She was 5-10 and 120 lbs when she was in High School. "And that was pretty serious, you see how big I am." (Yup, Marc's a pretty big guy.) "Her best friend weighed 98 lbs and they used to tell each other how fat they were." Hmmm, that does sound pretty serious, I hope she's OK now. "Oh, yes, she joined the military and now she says she can wrastle any one of us her big brothers." Marc was obviously tickled pink to receive this letter from his sister: Later, when I was leaving, I saw he'd tacked it with a magnet to the refrigerator. I was tempted to read what else she had to say -- but I didn't.
People should hand-write letters more often.
Speaking of bodies, I did go to the clothing-optional pool party over the weekend. Only I had been mistaken, and it wasn't clothing-optional -- it was clothing-mandatory and everyone was wearing clothes just as they might usually. *whew* I thought, now I can relate to people without that added worry.
Weeeelllll, no. Not really. Since it was a pool party, most everyone wore nothing but swim trunks -- and that also meant no shirt. Yikes. I've been working out, but there were some god-like specimens to be compared against. Still, there were a few flabbie cats; so, seeing that I was somewhere in the middle on the buff scale, I threw caution -- and my shirt -- to the wind, and waded into the pool. (This was more easily accomplished after a couple of Mexican Cozmos, which is something with Tequila and very, very good.)
*sigh* so disappointing. Supposedly "people" were enquiring about me. But did anyone come over to talk to me? No. In fact, it seemed most folks were already coupled. Even worse, I smoldered with envy because everyone I met was a "slasher": I'm a Lawyer-slash-Head of a NonProfit for Creative Change; I'm a Doctor-slash-AIDS Research Fundraiser; I'm a Funeral Director-slash-Caterer. Etc.
I'm alive slash single.
One last thing to weigh in on: I picked someone up on Friday night. His name is David and he has (owns?) three dogs -- plus points. He's self-conscious about his weight, had started the Atkins Diet, and hadn't eaten anything all day just so he could drink some beer. Minus points -- I'm glad we have our priorities set up right. He had a tattoo on his leg of the Virgin Mary, taken from a prayer card on the occasion of his ex-boyfriend's death. Hmmmm.
I might give him a call: What have I to lose? He was cute, he was not obese, and has an (unknown but) interesting past worthy of further investigation. He has an interest in outdoors things -- maybe he'd be up for canoeing or kayaking. I haven't gone all summer and I've missed it.
Will I call or not? Will the number be real or fake? Will *he* be real or fake? Stay tuned!
Dear Blogalongs: I've been happily upgrading my site today so that I now have a webcounter and a guestbook for YOU to leave comments. If something I write strikes a chord with you -- or not -- you can now leave me a little note-sie!
I own a few rental properties, with four primary tenants and a few hangers-on (children, pets, girl/boyfriends). I don't know much about them. It's interesting what they talk about/tell me on the occasions when I do interract with them.
Mid-last week, I had to investigate a water leak at one property. The tenants are two guys in their early 20s. The reason they got the apartment is because I thought they were gay: I don't know too many straight guys who have a joint checking account, do you? But they're not -- Ben has a girlfriend, and what a cutie patootie she is, too. The neighborhood was in an uproar because she's black -- the neighbors actually cornered me! -- but I think they've come round. Last time I saw her, I mentioned I had been to the opera, and she perked right up: "I've been trained in professional singing!" and then she began singing right there on the spot. I don't know what she was singing, but something warbly & I hope I showed I was impressed. You go girl!
But I digress. When I was there investigating the water leak, the mail was delivered, and Marc got a letter from his sister. He bounded upstairs where I was digging out old caulk in the bathroom just to tell me that. "She's loving boot camp and she's gaining weight." Well of course, I had to ask why that was a good thing? She had had an eating disorder. What kind of an eating disorder? Anorexia: She was 5-10 and 120 lbs when she was in High School. "And that was pretty serious, you see how big I am." (Yup, Marc's a pretty big guy.) "Her best friend weighed 98 lbs and they used to tell each other how fat they were." Hmmm, that does sound pretty serious, I hope she's OK now. "Oh, yes, she joined the military and now she says she can wrastle any one of us her big brothers." Marc was obviously tickled pink to receive this letter from his sister: Later, when I was leaving, I saw he'd tacked it with a magnet to the refrigerator. I was tempted to read what else she had to say -- but I didn't.
People should hand-write letters more often.
Speaking of bodies, I did go to the clothing-optional pool party over the weekend. Only I had been mistaken, and it wasn't clothing-optional -- it was clothing-mandatory and everyone was wearing clothes just as they might usually. *whew* I thought, now I can relate to people without that added worry.
Weeeelllll, no. Not really. Since it was a pool party, most everyone wore nothing but swim trunks -- and that also meant no shirt. Yikes. I've been working out, but there were some god-like specimens to be compared against. Still, there were a few flabbie cats; so, seeing that I was somewhere in the middle on the buff scale, I threw caution -- and my shirt -- to the wind, and waded into the pool. (This was more easily accomplished after a couple of Mexican Cozmos, which is something with Tequila and very, very good.)
*sigh* so disappointing. Supposedly "people" were enquiring about me. But did anyone come over to talk to me? No. In fact, it seemed most folks were already coupled. Even worse, I smoldered with envy because everyone I met was a "slasher": I'm a Lawyer-slash-Head of a NonProfit for Creative Change; I'm a Doctor-slash-AIDS Research Fundraiser; I'm a Funeral Director-slash-Caterer. Etc.
I'm alive slash single.
One last thing to weigh in on: I picked someone up on Friday night. His name is David and he has (owns?) three dogs -- plus points. He's self-conscious about his weight, had started the Atkins Diet, and hadn't eaten anything all day just so he could drink some beer. Minus points -- I'm glad we have our priorities set up right. He had a tattoo on his leg of the Virgin Mary, taken from a prayer card on the occasion of his ex-boyfriend's death. Hmmmm.
I might give him a call: What have I to lose? He was cute, he was not obese, and has an (unknown but) interesting past worthy of further investigation. He has an interest in outdoors things -- maybe he'd be up for canoeing or kayaking. I haven't gone all summer and I've missed it.
Will I call or not? Will the number be real or fake? Will *he* be real or fake? Stay tuned!
Dear Blogalongs: I've been happily upgrading my site today so that I now have a webcounter and a guestbook for YOU to leave comments. If something I write strikes a chord with you -- or not -- you can now leave me a little note-sie!